Gentlemen, Stop Fighting, We're Jihadists!

Reminiscent of the classic line from "Doctor Strangelove," Reuters reports al-Qa'ida leader Ayman al-Zawahiri has told the Iraqi and Syrian branches of the terrorist network to "stop arguing," presumably because whether you are executing children for heresy or indiscriminately murdering thousands of civilians in May, there is no room for discord and strife.

Ayman al-Zawahiri also hates it when his kids fight in the backseat during long car trips, apparently.